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Do you trust your fellow officers?'A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'A: 'Yes sir, we do!'Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'A: 'Yes, sir, I do.'Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'A: 'Yes, sir.'Q: 'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'A: 'You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.I sometimes worry about the way you think!The guys at the golf course asked meto name an actress I would like to be stuck in an elevator with.I told them the one who knows how to fix. I knew it had to be nothing except a string of coincidences. Stacy, a girl who had laughed at me and made me look like a complete jackass when I asked her out, was flirting with some guy just ahead of me. I looked at her and thought, Say ‘I have herpes.’ ‘That sounds great,’ she finished, and then much to my surprise, she added, ‘I have herpes.’ ‘Yeah, never mind,’ the guy she was flirting with said, and walked away in a hurry. Stacy just stood there looking confused, as if she didn’t remember what she’d said. Serves you right, bitch. I knew that there was no way that one was coincidence. She wouldn’t have said exactly what I told her to, let alone something that would probably ruin her reputation forever, unless I’d somehow made her. Jeremy, a guy who’d sucker-punched me in front of everybody I knew a couple of years earlier, was the next person I saw. ‘Have a nice trip,’ I said, and concentrated on making him do it. Down to the floor he went, tripping over his own feet. He had the.
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